Split paths
by Kyla1
Summary: After Kathryn Janeway makes a decision concerning Chakotay her life splits into two differant directions. One of the best things i ever wrote so pls r+r


Disclaimer: Not mine

Disclaimer: Not mine

Feedback: Are Chakotay and Janeway meant to be together? (that's my 

way of saying, YES PLEASE! ;-)

Note: Okay I know this is kinda like voyager stroke sliding doors but I 

really think it works, at least I hope so. It's sad and romantic at the 

same time and it contains bucket-loads of J/C. P.S slightly confusing I 

know but it's okay once you get used to it. 

Summary: After she makes a decision Kathryn Janeways life splits into 

two different paths. Lot's of J/C

****

Split paths

"Do you want to have dinner with me?" Chakotay smiled at her, his dimples deepening. 

"I don't know Chakotay," Kathryn Janeway answered honestly, smiling back at him. She made some quick calculations in her head.

If she had dinner her work would build up into a terrific back-log that would keep her busy for all of tomorrow, she really should do it. But then there was Chakotay, she knew exactly what he was offering her. If she went to dinner with him everything would change, it could be the one thing that could push their relationship that little bit further. 

She bit her lip nervously, a bad habit she still couldn't shake, was she ready for the change? She certainly felt something for Chakotay but she wasn't sure if she was prepared to define it.

"Well?" Chakotay's warm brown eyes seemed to see right through her. Kathryn Janeway looked at him, then at the padds on her desk, then back at Chakotay.

"Chakotay…" She began.

****

Captain Janeway opened her eyes, the first thing she registered was that she had slept with her head on her desk, again, and the second thing she registered was the intense pain shooting down her neck and back. She groaned and sat up, massaging the back of her neck with one hand. She looked around bleary-eyed and noticed the hordes of empty coffee cups scattered all over the place, she squinted down at them, how many were there? Nine? Twelve? Maybe she should start cutting down. She stood up, wincing a little as her complaining muscles stretched. 

"Good image for a star-fleet Captain," The door had slid open. Captain Janeway frowned, had she told Chakotay he could come in? 

"You've really…"

"Got to stop working so hard, I know," Captain Janeway smiled at her first officer. "You're getting predictable commander." Chakotay looked slightly put out.

"It's true Captain, how many coffee cups are in here?" Captain Janeway looked around again, everything slowly coming more into focus.

"Some, fourteen, no I can't possibly have had that many. Could I?" Captain Janeway started to feel a little bit worried.

"Maybe you're right, I should cut down." She stretched and tried to ease her protesting arms and legs. "I'm going to have a shower and freshen up, you have the bridge commander." 

"Yes Captain," Chakotay's voice was full of stiff formality. Captain Janeway winced inwardly, Chakotay was still unhappy about last night when she had refused his request for dinner. It wasn't just the fact that she had turned down eating with him, they had both known that the meal would have resulted in them admitting their love for each other. Captain Janeway looked at Chakotay miserably before walking out, she just wasn't ready.

Kathryn opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was an overwhelming feeling of happiness, for a microsecond she wondered why she felt so happy, then she remembered. Smiling to herself she rolled over and propped herself up on one elbow. She looked at the sleeping face of Chakotay beside her and raised a finger to trace his tattoo, then her finger travelled down and brushed against his lips, Chakotay stirred slightly at the touch and Kathryn bent down, brushing his lips with a ghost of a kiss. Chakotay's eyes opened, beautiful eyes, she thought to herself.

"Morning," Chakotay smiled softly and raised his hand to her cheek. Kathryn nestled into the warm palm. "I've dreamt about waking up next to you for so long." He whispered his eyes travelling over her body. Kathryn took his palm in her hands and gently kissed it before bringing it up to touch her breast. They lay like that for a long time just gazing into each others eyes, then Chakotay leant forward and caught her mouth in a passionate kiss.

"I love you," He breathed in her ear after breaking away. 

"I love you too," Kathryn whispered back, Chakotay smiled and stroked her hair.

"I've got to get up, I'm going to be late," Chakotay struggled to raise himself. Kathryn pouted.

"Do you have to?" She asked, watching him fumble with the bedclothes. 

"Yes I'm afraid so," Chakotay finally sat up and turned round back to face her.

"You see it's the Captain, she hates people to be late." Kathryn cocked her head at him.

"Moody cow, tell her to get stuffed." Chakotay laughed and kissed the top of her head before walking into the bathroom. Kathryn watched his muscular body appreciatively before lying back into the warm pillows. She smiled idly to herself as she remembered how they had come together. 

The meal had been gorgeous, Chakotay had replicated some mussels and there was candle light and real wine. Kathryn had been taken aback at it all, it was set up for seduction. Banishing her few doubts she had gone along with it all and allowed him to cater to her every need. 

"Would madam like to try the mussels?" He had asked her, his eyes twinkling. Madam would, she had assured him and he had picked up one of the mussels with his fingers and passed it over to her mouth. She had eaten it gently, her lips remaining for a slight moment on his fingers, then she had done the same to him. At that moment a slow fire had been lit that kept on burning throughout the whole evening. Kathryn hadn't laughed so much in ages and the sexual tension between her and Chakotay was unmistakable, while she was eating she had noticed Chakotay's intense stare upon her and she stopped eating, wiping her mouth with a napkin. 

"Missed a bit," He had smiled, reaching across and wiping a bit of sauce from the corner of her mouth, Kathryn had caught his hand and licked the bit of sauce off. Chakotay had then pulled his hand back and studied her for a long time. Then he had gestured to her, come here. Obliging she stood up and walked over and he stood up fluidly to meet her. They stood for a long time, gazing into each others eyes, then Chakotay kissed her gently on the lips. Kathryn had closed her eyes and savoured the taste of him. Then he had slowly sketched her breast through her top until her longing was an aching desire and he couldn't wait any more. They had made the most passionate love Kathryn had ever experienced. 

Kathryn felt an electrical current jolt through her at the mere recollection of the last night. She heard the shower start up in the bathroom and smiled to herself, she quickly got up, discarding the bedclothes and walked into the bathroom. Chakotay was in the shower with his back to her and she quickly slipped in behind him. He jumped and turned round to face her, where she caught him in a kiss.

"God Kathryn," He groaned, "You have no idea what you do to me." Kathryn allowed her gaze to travel down and grinned.

"I think I do." 

****

Captain Janeway walked back onto bridge after her shower, feeling a lot more refreshed. She walked over to her chair and smiled at everyone, they all retaliated apart from Chakotay who looked away. She winced inwardly again and immediately descended into a black mood. She sat frowning at her padds and responded to all questions with an irritated grunt. Chakotay wasn't behaving any better and every-time their hands brushed together they sprang apart. The mood was unavoidable and everyone found themselves bickering for no reason. Captain Janeway was feeling utterly miserable and alone but she hid it under a mask of professionalism. Everyone found themselves hoping beyond hope that Captain Janeway would cheer up soon, the atmosphere was unbearable. Whenever she walked down a corridor people scurried out the way with a scared expression on their face, then had to dodge in another direction to avoid the equally pissed off Chakotay. When Captain Janeway went to the mess hall she found everyone suddenly ducked their heads and refused to meet her stare, apart from Chakotay, who still defiantly caught her gaze and held it. Taking a deep breath and picking up her tray Captain Janeway prepared to go over and talk to Chakotay. 

Kathryn and Chakotay left his quarters at the same time, they had both decided not to keep their relationship secret. As they walked down the corridors Kathryn slipped her hand into Chakotay's waiting one and smiled happily, they both spotted Tom talking to B'ellana and grinned at each other before making a bee line for the couple.

"Morning Tom, B'ellana." Kathryn smiled.

"Captain, Chakotay," Tom smiled back, B'ellana spotted their joined hands and looked suspiciously at Chakotay, Chakotay nodded slightly and B'ellana's face broke into an ear to ear grin. She mouthed 'congratulations' before kissing Tom goodbye and walking off in the opposite direction. 

"What are you two looking so pleased about?" Tom asked conversationally, then his gaze wandered down to their joined hands, his mouth fell open. Kathryn fought her rising blush and grinned, Chakotay looked down at her, full of amusement and glanced over at Tom who was standing staring, speechless for a change. 

"I've got to go now, I'll see you later Kathryn." Chakotay said, Kathryn nodded and gave him a kiss.

"Bye Tom," Chakotay called, Tom just stood in shock. Chakotay grinned and bent down to Kathryn's ear. "Love you," he whispered, then he was gone. Tom looked surprised to say the least.

"You…Chakotay…hands." He spluttered, Kathryn laughed.

"Bye Tom." She walked away and left Tom still standing in shock in the middle of the corridor 

That afternoon in bridge the rumour had obviously been spread around a few times and the atmosphere was expectant, Kathryn and Chakotay sat sharing private looks all morning until everyone was obviously ready to burst. Chakotay leant over to Kathryn, and everyone jerked to attention.

"Do you want to tell them or shall I?" He whispered in her ear. Kathryn motioned at him and he stood up importantly, everyone immediately looked at him and Kathryn, who sank down further into her chair. Chakotay grinned at her.

"Just for all those of you are wondering." Chakotay had everyone's attention, including Tuvok who was trying very hard not to look interested. "Myself and Captain Janeway are now a couple." For a moment there was silence on the bridge while Kathryn felt a blush rising yet again. Then everyone started applauding, Chakotay grinned and made Kathryn stand up.

"Thank you," She told everyone, Chakotay gave her a quick kiss on top of her head, provoking even more applause, she smiled up at him then turned her attention to the crew.

"Of course this doesn't mean you get away with not doing any work," She told everyone, the twinkle in her eyes giving away the joke. "So Tom could you please at least pretend to be looking where we're going." 

"Aye Captain!" Tom saluted smartly and spun quickly back round in his chair, the effect somewhat spoiled when he nearly fell off.

****

Captain Janeway sat herself down next to Chakotay.

"Hello Chakotay," She smiled.

"Captain," He grunted, Janeway started to regret coming over.

"So um, how are you?" She asked, making a valiant effort to make conversation.

"Fine," He replied shortly, staring out the window. Janeway felt anger raising up inside her.

"Sulking really doesn't become you commander." She snapped peevishly. Chakotay turned and looked at her.

"Well what do you expect me to do?" His tone was low and menacing. "You brush me off as if I mean nothing then go on to completely ignore me apart from when it's convenient to you. So what do you expect me to do?" Janeway flushed.

"Don't read more into last night than there was." She hissed softly, not wanting anyone else to notice anything.

"There could have been more." Chakotay gazed at her urgently. "There could have been and you know that, but you choose work, like you always do."

"Oh I'm sorry!" Captain Janeway raised her voice, "I'm sorry that I seem to be the only one who actually cares about the welfare of this ship." Chakotay said nothing and just glared fiercely at her. "Listen Chakotay." She lowered her voice again. "I'm sorry about last night, really, but I'm just not ready to…to."

"You're not ready to love me," Chakotay spoke so quietly she could barely hear him.

"No Chakotay that's not it." She pleaded unconvincingly.

"Then what?" Chakotay asked, "What? You're not ready to enjoy yourself for a change? Not ready to admit to yourself that you're still human, Kathryn?" Janeway flinched at his use of her first name. "See even your name disturbs you." Chakotay looked sad, "And I'm not prepared to hang around and wait for you to finally realise it. You've blown it Kathryn, and by the time you actually realise it, it'll be to late." 

Chakotay stood up and left her struggling with tears, he walked over and started talking to an Ensign she knew he'd always fancied. It was the salt in the wound and she hurriedly left, choking back a sob. She wasn't ready to admit she loved him but she'd always counted on his love, depended on it. Now it seemed too late.

Kathryn and Chakotay walked into the mess hall together and got their food. Neelix had obviously heard the good news and were all over them. When they had finally detached themselves from the grinning cook they headed over to their normal table. 

"So how is your day?" Chakotay grinned.

"Well," Kathryn smiled back, "First I woke up with this incredibly sexy man, then I managed to get one over on Tom, always a pleasure, then I found I had a few mountains worth of reports to do, thanks to a very sexy person, who shall remain nameless, who positively dragged me to dinner last night. Apart from all that, my day has been fine, you?" Kathryn sipped her coffee as Chakotay related his days events to her.

"And then later on," He reached over and grabbed her hand, "I was thinking of asking an incredible, beautiful, amazing women, if she would do me the honour of marrying me." Kathryn nearly spat out her mouthful of coffee.

"Pardon?" She gulped.

"Marry me." Chakotay held her hand, "I love you Kathryn, I always have done and I always will do. Marry me." Kathryn felt her heart skip a beat.

"It's so soon," She gasped, more stating a fact than questioning it. "I mean, are you sure? I'm not an easy person to live with." 

"Kathryn, I've never been more sure about anything in my life." Chakotay raised her hand to his cheek. "I want to spend my life with you forever, wherever you go, I want to go. I want to be there beside you always." Kathryn let out a breath she hadn't even realised she had been holding. Chakotay continued. "Anyway you have to say yes, I have it all planned. When we get back to earth you shall retire as a Captain and instead look after my every whim. You will of course have to look after our five children."

"Five?!" Kathryn said disbelievingly.

"Yes five." Chakotay stated. "I even have the names all picked out, we'll have a little girl called Kathy after her mother, and a little boy called George because I've always liked that name and then we shall have twins…"

"Yes," Kathryn interrupted suddenly.

"You like the names?" Chakotay asked.

"I mean yes I'll marry you." Kathryn smiled, Chakotay's face lit up.

"Really?" He asked, "You're sure?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my whole life," Kathryn echoed his earlier words. Chakotay grinned from ear to ear, he jumped out of his seat and lifted her up.

"I love you." He told her as he swung her round in a hug.

"Chakotay, everyone's looking." Kathryn hissed, suddenly self conscious of the fact that most of the crew of Voyager were seeing their Captain being spun round in circles. 

"So!" Chakotay grinned then he put her down and turned round. "We're getting married!" He shouted at everyone. The room erupted into noise and Kathryn suddenly found herself swamped with probing questions and good wishes and Neelix promising loudly to make the best wedding feast in the whole history of wedding feasts. Kathryn just nodded and smiled at everyone, she suddenly felt truly happy. 

****

After a week had gone by just about everybody knew that Captain Janeway and Chakotay's friendship had gone down the drain. All polls about whether or not the two of them would get together had been closed with the people who said it wouldn't happen finding themselves suddenly richer. Chakotay struck up a shaky relationship with the Ensign and Captain Janeway went back to her solid relationship with coffee and the ship. She worked hard and long with no relief, she felt as though she had lost more than the love of a man, she had lost her best friend. It seemed to her that the past few years she had been dreaming, basking in Chakotay's love, but now she had woken up and the reality was harsh. She suddenly realised she had kept Chakotay at arms length for too long, always teasing him with promises of love but never delivering, she started to hate herself for what she had done. Being a captain was always lonely, no-one pretended it to be any other way, but Chakotay had always somehow made it bearable, surprising her with little visits to her ready room and lunches together and the occasional dinner, it seemed so ironic that out of all the dinners they had had she had to go and refuse the one that could have changed her life. Chakotay still talked to her occasionally when necessity called but other than that he kept his distance and she hated it. He was standing in her ready room now, his hands clasped behind his back with the stiff formality they had both adopted to try and hide their own feelings.

"Thank you commander." She accepted his report and scanned through it. "Everything looks in order." A short while ago she would have smiled warmly and maybe suggested some lunch. But now she hid behind a cool mask, 'the ice queen' as her new nick-name suggested. 

"Thank you Captain." Chakotay answered stiffly, obviously waiting to be dismissed. Kathryn felt a sudden reluctance to dismiss him, she longed to talk to him about something, anything. But try as she might she couldn't be the one to say anything, her stupid pride getting in the way of any developments. 

"Dismissed commander," She felt defeated as he turned to leave, for a moment he seemed to pause and looked back at her his lips parted as though he would say something. But in the end he just left. Kathryn bit her lip and stared miserably down at the padd, the words all melded together as tears filled her eyes.

Captain Janeway sat in her chair on bridge, something was wrong, she could feel it. She felt dizzy and nauseous, her stomach kept turning although there was nothing in there. She suddenly realised she hadn't eaten in three days and also hadn't slept. She started to feel a bit worried, maybe she had pushed her body too far this time. The doctor had been warning her for a long time of the after shocks of her pushing her body, organ failure and heart-attacks were two of the many that she had ignored the possible threat of. Her head pounded and her vision blurred regularly, she felt her breath coming in shallow gasps and her heart pounded, a grey fog started to obscure her vision. Something inside her told her to be sensible, get to the medical bay quickly before something happened on bridge in front of everybody. She pushed herself up slowly and stood still for a minute as the sudden movement went straight to her head.

"I'm going to the medical bay," Captain Janeway tried to breathe deeply and regularly. "Commander you have the bridge." She saw Chakotay glance at her with a flicker of his old concern and started to walk to the door. The grey fog obscured her vision again and every movement seemed to jar her entire body. She found it difficult to move normally and she was aware of everyone watching her. Then she gave up and her legs buckled, she hit the floor with a thud with darkness creeping up on her. She dimly heard someone shout 'Captain!' but she ignored it and sank into the reassuring darkness.

The wedding was beautiful, everyone agreed it. Chakotay and Kathryn had been unsure who should perform the ceremony, usually it was the captain but seeing as it was the captain who was actually getting married this time the rules were slightly different, so they chose to read their own vows and just do it themselves. The ceremony went by in a blur for Kathryn, the bit she always remembered best was when she and Chakotay exchanged rings, and the look on his face, it was pure love. Afterwards they all had a massive party that brought the ship to a standstill. Neelix had really outshone himself, the food was exquisite, Kathryn stayed glued to Chakotay's side the entire time, smiling as though she could never stop. The highlight of the evening came when they produced a cake. No-one had told Neelix about a proper wedding cake so he didn't have a clue, so all the senior crew-members had got together and decided to make a special cake in tribute to Kathryn. When they wheeled it out she burst out laughing. They had made a five tiered coffee cake, with a coffee mug on top and the little plastic bride and groom settled on top of the mug. She and Chakotay had cut the cake together and there was enough for the whole ship. Afterwards they walked back to their new, joined quarters. Chakotay scooped Kathryn up in his arms.

"Chakotay!" She laughed, holding on, "What the hell are you doing?" 

"I'm carrying my wife over the threshold," Chakotay grinned, hauling her over the doorway. When the door had closed they exchanged a long kiss, only breaking apart when the need for air became necessary.

"And guess what happens next." Chakotay grinned. Kathryn smiled back.

"And what's that husband dearest?" Chakotay tightened his arms and grinned devilishly.

"The honeymoon!"

****

She needed a rest, that's what the doctor told her, well what the doctor ordered her to do anyway. She got the feeling she wasn't very high up on the doctors favourites list right about now. After all collapsing because of neglecting your health after repeated warnings wasn't the kind of thing a good patient did. Captain Janeway flew the shuttle grimly, they had found a nice planet and had got permission for her to take a break on it for a few weeks. Chakotay had avoided her ever since she had collapsed on bridge, she knew he blamed himself but for once she wasn't falling over trying to reassure him. Tears threatened to blind her eyes yet again and she blinked rapidly, the shuttle wobbled slightly and she gave herself a mental slap. She was hoping that the time, however short, away from Chakotay and the ship was going to help her sort out her mind. The planet grew larger in the window and Captain Janeway started to prepare to land, not in the populated area as was originally planned, but in an uninhabited area up north, she just wanted to be alone.

Kathryn and Chakotay sat side by side in the shuttle, they were heading towards a gorgeous little planet that they had luckily managed to get permission to spend their honeymoon on. Kathryn glanced over to Chakotay and smiled, he was checking through all their stuff, he noticed her looking at him.

"I was just remembering how you enjoy 'roughing it'," He grinned, "This time you don't even have a bath tub." 

"Well you'll just have to make me one again won't you!" Kathryn smiled back, Chakotay walked over to her and put his arms around her. "Chakotay I'm trying to fly this thing!" She protested as the shuttle rocked.

"Put it on auto pilot," Chakotay bent down and nibbled on her ear, Kathryn laughed and flicked the auto pilot on. She turned around and put her arms round his neck.

****

Captain Janeway sat next to her fire, she huddled near the warmth and light feeling protected. She gazed around the cave where she was sheltering, she supposed she could go down to the civilisation but she just wanted to be alone. She had a lot of time to think in the silence. She sat with her head resting on her knees. She missed Chakotay, that was the problem, she missed his friendship and his love. His love more than anything, and she loved him. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone before, even Mark. She loved him with an intensity that scared her, that was why she backed away. She was afraid of being hurt, afraid of taking the plunge. If she wasn't onboard Voyager she supposed things could very well be different. Maybe her and Chakotay would be married or at least together. But Voyager just complicated things so much.

'It doesn't have to' something Chakotay once said to her popped back into her head, 'you can still be Kathryn and a Captain.' Captain Janeway mulled that thought over and over, was it possible that she could have both? Happiness and being a Captain? She had heard of it being done before but not under these circumstances. Did being away from Earth change things? She had an obligation to get everybody home. But maybe they were home, lot's of people had found happiness onboard Voyager, so much so that they are content to stay on the ship. Could she do that? Could she resign herself to staying on the ship and still being happy? But was it still to late? Had she really blown it with Chakotay once and for all, maybe if she did finally admit to loving him and surrendered to happiness he wouldn't want to anymore. The thought made her feel panicked and she bit back a sob, the thought of always being along scared her, more than she dared admit. 

Kathryn lay in Chakotay's arms beside the fire they had built together, she felt completely safe and protected and completely and utterly happy. Chakotay rested with his head on top of hers, breathing in the smell of her hair. 

"Chakotay," She murmured after a while.

"What?" Chakotay whispered back, brushing her hair lightly with his fingers.

"Did you really mean that, about having five children?" Kathryn turned round to face him, propping herself up on one elbow. Chakotay nodded, his face a mask of seriousness.

"Of course! Starting with little Kathy." Kathryn laughed and put a hand up to his face.

"Chakotay, you do realise that I'm not as young as I used to be, having one child now is going to be pretty hit or miss." 

"That's why we have to make as much of the time we've got." Chakotay bent down and started kissing her neck.

"If we have a child onboard Voyager I'm not going to be the only one raising it buddy." Kathryn laughed and fended him off. "You're going to have to be a proper little Daddy and stay at home with the little brat, I mean angel." She smiled up at him. Chakotay thought hard.

"Now could any child of mine be a little brat?" He grinned impishly and grabbed Kathryn's rear, she yelped and whacked him round the head.

"Stop that commander before I have to restrain you."

"Promises, promises." Chakotay grinned and kissed her again. "I solemnly swear that I will look after any offspring that we create." He swore with one hand over his heart. 

"Good boy," Kathryn smiled, she put her head on Chakotay's chest and closed her eyes as he gently stroked the back of her head. "Promise me you'll never leave me Chakotay." She whispered softly. Chakotay gently kissed the top of her head. "I promise." 

****

Captain Janeway was lying by her fire just drifting off to sleep when she felt a tremor, she quickly raised herself up on her elbows when she felt another, stronger one. A rock at the top of the cave dislodged and crashed down to the floor. She quickly leapt to her feet and started running to the cave entrance. Another strong tremor shook the cave and sent her falling to the floor with a thud. The entrance to the cave and her only way out collapsed leaving her trapped, she put a hand up to her face and felt blood.

"Janeway to Voyager." She yelled over the sound of falling rocks. "I need assistance, repeat, I need assistance, there's an earthquake, the cave is collapsing, repeat…" A heavy rock dislodged and fell down, striking the side of her face and she fell back down to the floor in a daze. She dimly heard Chakotay's voice.

"Voyager to Janeway, Kathryn are you all right? Kathryn!" She tried to get to her comm badge to reassure him but she couldn't feel her arms or legs anymore. The sound of the cave collapsing deafened her and she curled up in a ball and closed her eyes. Willing it to stop.

Chakotay was asleep and Kathryn had her head rested on him when the first tremor came. She felt it slightly and raised her head, then she shook Chakotay awake.

"Chakotay, did you feel that?" She whispered, Chakotay blearily opened his eyes.

"Feel what?" He asked, then another tremor shook the ground. "Okay I felt that." He sat up quickly. "It feels like an earthquake, we better get out of here."

"Way ahead of you." Kathryn quickly got up and started heading towards the entrance to the cave, another tremor dislodged some of the rocks with a crash and behind her she heard Chakotay yelp. She spun round and saw Chakotay lying on the floor with a rock trapping his ankle.

"Chakotay!" She yelled and ran back to him. "Hold on," She started trying to lift the rock, her arm muscles straining against the weight.

"Kathryn, the entrance is going to collapse!" Chakotay shouted over the noise. "Get out of here!"

"No way, I'm not going to leave you." Kathryn yelled back, still trying to futilely shift the rock, behind her she heard the entrance collapse in on itself. A noise above Chakotay made her look up and she saw a heavy rock starting to shift. "Chakotay!" She screamed and flung her body over his, the heavy rock fell down and struck her back, she screamed in pain and collapsed, Chakotay quickly manoeuvred his body over hers. She heard him shouting into his comm badge.

"Chakotay to Voyager, we need help! Get down here quickly!" She curled into Chakotay and closed her eyes and ears, shivering she willed it all to stop.

****

Captain Janeway lay among all the debris, she was seriously hurt she knew that much, and if she didn't get help soon she would die. She saw a pool of blood around her, her blood, everything had gone deathly silent apart from the sound of her own tortured breathing, every time she breathed in her lungs and ribs screamed in agony. She couldn't feel her legs and when she tried to get up she found she couldn't move. She thought she could hear noises outside, trying to get in, but it might have just been her mind playing tricks. She wanted Chakotay, she needed Chakotay, she wanted him to hold her and tell her every thing was ok. It was typical, she thought to herself, just as she was ready to tell him how much she loved him the roof fell in on her. Her mind was fevered and wondered all over the place. She thought she heard a voice.

"Captain, can you hear us? Hold on Captain." 'To what?' she thought to herself. She lay still, alone, her sight started fading and the pain became numb. 'Chakotay,' her mind whispered in her ear. 

Kathryn lay in Chakotay's arms, he was holding tightly to her, his clothes stained with blood, her blood. Her breaths were slow and ragged.

"Come on Kathryn," Chakotay pleaded. "Hold on for just a little longer, they're nearly here, they're gonna rescue us." He lifted her hand to his cheek, his hot tears falling on it. "You're not going to die, ok? We're both going to get out of this alive and we're going to stay together." He told her, "We're going to be with each other our whole lives, with little Kathy, and then we'll retire and our grandchildren will come and see us." Chakotay placed a hand on Kathryn's fevered brow. "You're going to die an old women, not here, not now." Kathryn's chest heaved as she fought for breath.

"Chakotay," She whispered, holding onto him as if he was her one anchor to this world. Blackness started creeping up on her and it was getting harder to breathe.

****

"Come on Captain, hold on, we're almost there."

"Please hold on Kathryn, I love you, you can't die."

****

"Keep going Captain, just for a little longer."

"Listen Kathryn, they're almost through, just hold on."

****

Chakotay finally pulled back the one last rock that was separating him from Captain Janeway, he could see her small, broken body lying down at the bottom. He pushed away the people crowding him and leapt down to her, frantically checking for life signs.

When the rock was pulled away everyone could see Chakotay cradling Kathryn's broken body. He was spattered with her blood and holding desperately onto her hand.

****

Chakotay checked Captain Janeway's body, he searched frantically then his heart gave a great leap.

"She's alive!" He shouted up, "She's still breathing!"

Chakotay gazed up at them, tears falling down his face, he looked down at Kathryn then back up at them.

"You're too late," He choked, "She's dead." He kissed her forehead and started sobbing.

Kathryn Janeway opened her eyes, she was lying in the medical bay on Voyager. Visions kept attacking her eyes, Chakotay, her and Chakotay getting married, her dying in Chakotay's arms. She lay silently thinking about everything that had happened, she was very lucky, the doctor had told her. She very nearly died. Tears started to form in her eyes at the very thought

Kathryn Janeway stood in her quarters looking out at the stars, her door chimed.

"Come in," She called. Chakotay walked in.

"I heard you were better Captain," He said with a flicker of his old affection.

"Thank you commander," She replied softly, she looked into his eyes. "Oh Chakotay," She finally said, "How did we get like this? What went wrong?" Her eyes brimmed with tears again.

"I don't know," Chakotay admitted, "I think it was something to do with the fact you weren't ready and I resented that." Kathryn Janeway smiled wearily and sat down on her couch.

"It's strange how nearly dying can put things into perspective," She said softly. She looked back up at him. "I often wonder what would have happened if I had had dinner with you that day."

"Don't dwell on it," Chakotay answered crossing over to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. Kathryn smiled up at him.

"How would you like dinner Chakotay?" She asked, Chakotay smiled.

"I would love to." Kathryn smiled back and rested her head on his palm, Chakotay bent down and gently kissed her on top of the head.

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End

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